Thursday, March 12, 2009

BFF

There is nothing like a best friend! Agree? Girls need best friends. Someone that speaks your language, hears and knows your heart, and wants to be together as much as possible—you know what I am talking about.

What are your thoughts on a best friend? I am curious, what makes a best friend for you? Someone who is loyal? Someone you want to talk with? Someone who is completely honest? Someone who is excited about the same things that you are? Someone you can have meaningful conversation with? Someone who is not exclusive in friendship; that shares friends but you know deep down they love you best? Someone you can hardly wait to share news with big or small? Someone who will share deep heart thoughts? Someone you can tell your deep thoughts to and they will still love you? Someone that encourages you to be your best and sees your strengths even if you don’t see them yourself? Someone that laughs with you over life?

I Facebooked this question: What does a “best friend” mean to you? I loved the answers! A best friend is: Someone who looks out for you. Someone who has endurance, presence and laughter; someone who has seen you through it all and loves you more because of it; someone you feel at home and comfortable with; someone who just “gets you”; someone who knows the ugliest part but loves you anyway. These are so great.

Here are some more. A best friend is: “…someone who understands your past, believes in your future and accepts you the way are today”; “someone who goes to the end of the earth again and again and again never asking why just because they need you to be there with them”; and “friends know your flaws but a best friend sees them as growth spurts”. I love these. How about... “A friend hears what you say, but a best friend also hears what you don’t say”? Or “a best friend knows not only that you like tea but from which cup is your favorite.” Lastly, “a best friend is a friend for life—no matter what.” Thanks for your thoughts; they are really beautiful. So what?

Maybe you have a best friend; maybe you have had one; maybe you have only dreamed of such relationships. It may have been in childhood, in high school, or college, or perhaps you are still hoping for a best friend like that. Think back to some of your best memories with a friend, laughing so hard you could not breathe or so eager to make that phone call to tell them some earth shattering news of the day. Perhaps it was places you went together, the things you did, or conversations that you had never shared with anyone else before, and instead of thinking you were weird, they loved you all the more. Best friends are a category all of their own, don’t you think? Rare, wonderful, and a gift from God.

I have heard that there are multiple best friends - a best friend for different areas, one that makes you laugh, one that you like to walk with, one that challenges you, one that comforts you or whatever. I don’t see that so much as a best friend but just simply multiple friends. There is plenty of room for opinions, and there is no one right answer, I know, but best friends are best overall. Some think you grow out of it and that adults have many but none “best”. Mates are great and best friend mates are special, but another women as that best friend is a remarkable thing. Those moments that you know not to look at them or catch their eye or you will burst into laughter. Best friends have moments and memories that are frozen in time. I will never forget a high school friend who gave up being on homecoming court that she had been on before so that I could have a chance at being homecoming queen. She wanted me to win.

I was thinking about best friends from the past and found myself crying this afternoon. Perhaps it’s because Buddy is gone on a trip and I am feeling lonely, but I think it is God at work in me. I think feeling sad is sometimes His invitation to show me truth. Where are the best friends now? I just heard that an early childhood best friend is now near St. Louis; another best friend is in New Hampshire; a high school best friend lives in Wisconsin where we grew up—(literally, she bought the house she grew up in!) A few years back, we sat in her old room where we used to talk ourselves to sleep till wee hours. That room is now her daughters’ room—it was a really wonderful time of reminiscing. We lay on the beds and laughed of old times escaping ever so briefly into being kids again. It seemed like her mom was about to poke her head in any minute to see what on earth all the ruckus was about. We visit by phone, but the distance and the years of going our separate ways have left blank spaces and gaps. Best friends are not so “forever”. Life seems to change and we do too, not so intentionally, but stages change, and time together is gone.

I always wanted my sister to be a best friend sort of person—that was not ever going to happen. One of the worst hurts of life is loosing a best friend. Whatever the reason, a move, a marriage, dreams divided, or circumstances of life. There is a loss. But that place is not wasted. God wants you to know truth where you have let lies fill in. Lies that make you feel worthless, unloved, or alone. Been there? Still there? What is the truth? There is “He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother”. There is “I will never leave you or forsake you.” He is everything you want in a friend. There is nothing He is going to find out about you that He will ever like you any less. There is no length He is not willing to go to be together with you for eternity. Satan drowns out the truth with raging lies, frenzied falsehoods, and terrorizing tales or whispers and daggers of doubt. Sometimes so subtly that we almost don’t realize the lie and swallow it until in pollutes our very insides poisoning us from within. We wonder why we do not feel well; we have eaten the rot of unbelief. Sin is corrupting our thinking. Sin is thinking wrongly about God. Our thoughts carry out in our actions and we deny what we believe by how we live.

“The Lord delights in you”—He enjoys your company. “You are precious to him”—He thinks you are special; there is “unfailing love” found in Him alone—it never wanes or wobbles, “He lifted them up and carried them through all the years” through all the stages and circumstances He is there, He never bails on you—you are never too much or too difficult. “I am on your side”—He is loyal. “With everlasting love”—He does not love conditionally or if your performance has been good enough. “I am the One who comforts you”—He always knows just the right things to say. “ I said I would do it and I will”—He is reliable and has never lets us down. “ I cared for you since before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime—until your hair is white with age” He is not just a childhood friend that has lost track of you or no longer has things in common with you—this is a forever friendship. He has been there all along you never have to catch Him up on what is going on. “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am the Lord your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.”—Because He is with us, nothing should be too scary, too depressing, or too wearing. We are on the winning side we never have to feel like losers. “He never grows faint or weary”—He is always strong and able despite our condition. “I know you well—your comings and goings and all you do.”—He is interested in us; He is not surprised. “No matter how deep the stains of your sins, I can remove it. I can make you as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool.”— Do you know any friend that can do that? He is an awesome God.

Sound impossible to have all that in one person? Nope! He is all that and more! “ I have called you friend,” you know, that is not to be taken lightly. He is your best friend. “To whom will you compare me? Who is my equal?” The term BFF is more than just a texting phrase: He wrote it to you and about you long, long ago. He wants to be best friends forever. Who can pass up a friendship like that—who would want to?

3 comments:

  1. so pumped to see you have a blog!!
    i can't wait to read this entry....actually i may be committing a blogging foul leaving a comment prior to actually reading....however i'm flying out the door to carpool , but i'll be back.
    ps-totally linkin you on my blog
    xo
    www.paigeknudsen.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm so happy you wrote this blog. I've been struggling with the loss of my bff. She didn't die, but when I became a Christian she cut me off. I understand because he mom was a "Christian" and left her and her sister to be a missionary in Iraq. So she hated christians. But I've been looking for a BFF, and I've felt so empty with out one, but thanks you for writing this I've began to heal. Sara R. Hendricks

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jody -

    I am so excited that you have a blog. And I love this post. I'm so glad to read it right now ... it's exactly what I needed to read.

    I have struggled for a long time with the BFF issue ... ever since mine died in a car accident when we were 18. I recently got back in touch with my best friend from elementary school on Facebook and that's been great. But I miss my best friend from high school so much. I've not had a relationship like that since then and I'm on the verge of my 20 years highschool reunion.

    Recently I have had such a strong desire for that type of friendship again. I don't know if it's because of the stage in my life (small children) or because of reminiscing about highschool lately. I am sad that, although I do have a handful of good friends, I don't have that BFF in my life. I am reminded that the Lord is my BFF and He can meet all my needs if I let Him.

    Thanks for writing this!! Blessings :)
    ~Heather

    pursuingpurls/blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete